" HARD COLD DERBY "

... the story of the Undertaker's Daughter

Undertaking is in her blood, if that’s what you call running through her veins.  As one of 12 kids born of The Undertaker from the gray, mining town of Hibbing, Minnesota, Daddy’s little girl found lonely comfort in all things hard and cold. 

There, in the dark and dank confines of the basement embalming room, The Undertaker’s Daughter found solace lying peacefully on the frigid, porcelain slab surfaces, breathing deeply the sweet smell of ripening flesh and formaldehyde. 

Cozying up to death at an early age, Undertaker’s Daughter was a constant companion on late night suicide runs and head on collisions.  As she grew older her dexterity with a scalpel was unmatched—she could slice off a man’s face in seconds—and with years of hoisting heavy, dead flesh, stirred up in The Undertaker’s Daughter a strange proclivity towards power, speed and agility not often found in young girls her age.

When it was time to leave the putrid coziness of the family coffin The Undertaker’s Daughter roamed the open grave yards in search of a new brand of hell.  From the depths of death came the Hell spawn and roller fury known as The Undertaker’s Daughter.